Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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