Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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