so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
