Do you still have your period?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
