is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
