that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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