I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
