Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
