I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
