I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
