This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
