We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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