he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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