she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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