but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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