What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize