She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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