To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
