Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
