I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
