My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
