That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You are a genius and a whore.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
