there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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