Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
