Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
