can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize