im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
