I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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