have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
