Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
