Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
