i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
