her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
