question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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