3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
