4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
