just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize