I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
