just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize