My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
