Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
