Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
