I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
