yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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