Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
