we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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