I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who died my cat blue again?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My vagina is very pro this idea
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
