After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
cat food counts as protein by the way
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
