I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize