im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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