Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
