Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
