Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize