On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
