Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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