Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
