I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
