Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
