Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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