On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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