If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
