That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
