okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
