What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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